I’m usually an honest person. I am creative and kind. I’m brave and loyal and trustworthy. I’m smart. Wicked smart, sometimes. I’m quite funny. I make big mistakes and I say I’m sorry and then quickly forgive myself. I love to learn. I soak up books and people like the sun. I forgive easily. I’m a great listener. I stand in reverent awe of other people, with all their strength, pain, loss and triumphs. Incidentally, my quest to become a good mother has transformed me into a good Sister, Wife, and Daughter. I’m still learning how to be a good friend and neighbor and citizen of this brutiful world. Oh yes- and I’ve become a person of great faith. God and I are really tight. It turns out He’s wild about me. Always has been. Who knew?
And that nakedness, brokenness, and sensitivity I was born with? They’ve turned out to be my greatest gifts. My nakedness allows me to tell the truth without shame or fear and my brokenness is what allows others to trust and love me. My sensitivity is what drives me to feel the pain of others and love them so fiercely. The parts of me that made the first half of my life so exceptionally hard are the exact same parts making the second half exceptional.
Life’s about how you use what you got, I think.
I was right when I was little. Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. Reject the brutal, reject the beauty. So now I embrace both, and I live well and hard and real.