excerpt from A Model Year (Part 4 of 5)

There are no rules for this. Things are easier
when there’s a code of behavior. Waiting

for Saturday to pass into Sunday & Sunday
into the work week so one knows what to do

with their time. Language neither the problem
nor the cure, just something to occupy myself with.

No one taught me the softness of the quilt
against my cheek. It was something I could only

learn myself. No one taught me how to deal
with emotion. How to handle restless nights.

& so I lied when I said I didn’t know how
I got here: a series of bad mistakes & misjudgments.

A touch of idealism. Hope then disappointment.
Really I’ve traveled nowhere. Standing in the same place

for three years. Still wearing the same blue jeans,
only now a hole in the knee.

– Gina Myers


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