I go back and forth between being a cynic about love and a hopeless romantic – an often closeted hopeless romantic, but one nonetheless. When I look around me and I see most of the relationships of my peers, the truth is I do not feel comforted. I see people who are selling themselves short just to have any kind of love. I see people who want to engage in unnecessary fights and quarrels under the guise of passion. I see people who are so dependent on each other for validation and an identity. And I see lust and the fear of being alone and the need to be wanted by anyone, as substitutes for love.
But why does this generation feel the need to make love so complicated? Is it just limited to this generation? Is love complicated regardless of space and time? I don’t know. And maybe this is where my hopeless romantic comes into play. Because I don’t need romantic love to be the be-all-end-all of my existence. I just need it to complement who I am and the person I love to be. I don’t need love to feel like I’ve given up on trying and will settle for what’s available because I’m exhausted. I need it to feel like we deserve each other because we authentically want each other. And I don’t need love to have this ever-burning fire of emotion. I need it to be sincerely passionate but calming and playful, in a world where so many things can stress you out. I don’t need love to solely prevent a lifetime of aloneness. I need it to feel like a true friend, a true companion, will care for me simply, purely, and as uncomplicatedly as possible. And I will do the same.
– Kovie Biakolo