from “Black Sun”

October 16, 2014 § Leave a comment

Nothing can erase this night
but there’s still light with you.

- Osip Mandelstam, trans. Clarence Brown and W. S. Merwin

from “Living with the News”

October 14, 2014 § Leave a comment

Can I get used to it day after day
a little at a time while the tide keeps
coming in faster the waves get bigger
building on each other breaking records
this is not the world that I remember …

- W.S. Merwin

For K.P. – I am so sorry.

Haiku

October 14, 2014 § Leave a comment

Even if I now saw you
Only once,
I would long for you
Through worlds,
Worlds.

- Izumi Shikibu

a few lessons

October 8, 2014 § Leave a comment

  1. stop preaching moderation. for many of us, there is no moderation. a little isn’t enough and a little only makes us crave more and feel unsatisfied. when this is a healthy thing, be it love or honesty or a career risk or heart racing intimacy or hard introspection or a delicious book or a third bowl of soup, moderation shows self-doubt and insecurity, as if we don’t deserve more of this wonderful thing because we’re not enough. when it’s not a healthy thing we crave, like fickle, conditional love or the doughnuts in the break room or 14 hours hiding in bed or tequila when you’re sad or the attention of someone disingenuous or shaming self-talk or heroin, a little “moderation” is an ugly, deep, dark way to chip away at your better self.
  2. you will be successful if you show up to your life and live with calm confidence. if you show up, you will suffer and change and have to be honest and you will experience so much beauty around you … in you. and if you show up with calm confidence, realizing that most things don’t need your opinion, that your reaction to anything is your most useful power, and that most things that hurt us have nothing to do with who we are, you will find your freedom. you don’t need approval. you are precious, vast, and probably underestimate how brave and pure and happy your heart is, if you’d only just open it.
  3. look ‘em in the eye and hug ‘em.
  4. if there is something that stirs you and makes you uncomfortable and tests you in seemingly unrelated ways, that thing that won’t let you go, you must confront it. in the words of e.roosevelt, “you must do the thing you think you cannot do.” this will define you whether you confront it or not, so be bold. you are stronger than you know.
  5. make mistakes and don’t expect perfection. ask forgiveness and forgive easily.
  6. the neglect and bullying of a child is unacceptable. stand up for the kids in your life, on your block, all the ones at your kid’s school, the ones at the grocery store, on the street, at the park. just one purposeful, positive, caring adult who steps up or steps in for the difficult ones, the rebels, the drop outs, the marginalized, the abused, and the overlooked can save lives, turn the odds, and off-set the shit they’ve been through.
  7. secrets rarely help. say your truth out loud. you owe the people who love you that much.
  8. inactivity will kill you. when you lose something – a person, a dream, a chance – at some point you have to move on and that change, that forward grieving movement is the most painful, necessary thing you must do to save the rest of your life. inactivity can kill your body, too. go outside and walk. breath deep. stretch. run or compete or adventure or lift heavy things if you can. appreciate the body you have and don’t take it for granted.
  9. trust your golden heart and give your light away. you are good, worthy of grace, and have nothing to prove.
  10. “If you were to press your heart close up against somebody else’s heart eventually your hearts will start beating at the same time. And two little babies in an incubator, their hearts will beat at the same time. Love that. So if you have somebody in your life that is prone to anxiety, like myself, and if you happen to be a calm person, you could come up and hug me heart to heart and my heart hopefully would slow to yours. And I just love that idea. Or maybe yours would speed up to mine. But either way, we’ll be there together.” – Andrea Gibson 

You read and write and sing …

August 27, 2014 § Leave a comment

You read and write and sing and experience, thinking that one day these things will build the character you admire to live as. You love and lose and bleed best you can, to the extreme, hoping that one day the world will read you like the poem you want to be.

― Charlotte Eriksson

The Fall

August 27, 2014 § Leave a comment

I said
“I love you so much it’s killing me”
and you kept saying sorry
so I stopped explaining
for it never made sense to you
what always did to me
to let what you love
kill you
and never regret.

As Romeo is dying Juliet says
“I am willing to die to remain by your side”
and love was never a static place of rest
but the last second of euphoria
while throwing yourself out from a 20 store window
to be able to say
“I flew before I hit the ground”,
and it was glorious.

Don’t be sorry.
The fall was beautiful, dear.
The crash was beautiful.

– Charlotte Eriksson

 

loving this ms. eriksson

I Will Love You Like The World Is Ending

August 27, 2014 § Leave a comment

One day I won’t be here anymore.
One rainy day you won’t find me laying beside you in bed when you wake up.
One day there will be no kissing in the morning
or coffee and cigarettes while waiting for the day to start.
There will be no more holding hands or texts starting with fire and ending with love.

One day I won’t be here anymore,
so maybe you can care about us now?
Maybe you can shelter us and treat this as if it won’t last
and as if each morning is the last morning,
and each kiss is the last kiss,
because I fear you’re taking this for granted,
and I know there are so many other great things you’ve had,
and I know I might not be that special,
but you’re by far the greatest thing I’ve ever had.

Soon enough I won’t be kissing you awake,
Because I feel this is the beginning of my end, darling,
I’m hurting in quite a lot of ways,
and as you know I never learned to stay
so I need to tell you, love,
that one day I won’t be here anymore.
And maybe then you can miss me a little bit?
Because I will be missing you for the rest of my days,
I even miss you when I’m with you because I know that it won’t last,
and it’s quite a heavy burden,
a heavy burden for my shrinking body to have.

So for now,
I will miss you like I’ll never see you again,
And the next time I see you,
I will kiss you like I’ll never kiss you again,
And when I fall asleep beside you
I will fall asleep as if I’ll never wake up again,
because I don’t know if I will.
I don’t know if I will.

I will love you like the world is ending,
because I fear it is.
I will love you like my faith is calling,
because I fear it is.
I fear it is.
I fear it is.

- Your Tragedy

- Charlotte Eriksson

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